Sure, it looks like nailpolish...

And OK, I guess technically it IS nailpolish. But it also happens to be part of my triathlon training regime. No really, it is.

But firstly a tangent! You know, it's funny; I would never, ever (like I'd-rather-chomp-out-my-own-tongue ever) say to someone who had just had their first swim lesson "OH HEY. Good job fatass, there's another thing you suck at". 

I wouldn't say it to someone I disliked. I wouldn't say it to a stranger and I sure as hell wouldn't say it to a friend.  

But it's actually the mild version of what I was telling myself after my first swim lesson (on Nov 1st). Was it true? Maybe.That first lesson was TOUGH; I like the water just fine and I could swim enough not to drown. I didn't however, like jamming my head under the water and exercising vigorously. Or even just putting my head under the water, period.

But I did it. I turned up, I learnt some stuff and I did the best I could. If you had done the same thing I would be telling you how awesome you are RIGHT NOW. In fact, consider yourself told.

But I spent three weeks dreading going to class and practice, and then having nightmares about the race. Not like subtle "and this giant anchor tattoo represents your fear" nightmares. Oh no. Like "I swim and swim as hard as I can but I still don't come in under my time and I get disqualified and all my friends and family are so NICE about it that I would rather have drowned". That kind of nightmare.

So, I did this mental exercise thing with my homegirl Ramona, where I had to talk myself through my swim like I was someone I liked, you know, "Hey! Good for us! We didn't drown and we're totally getting better! Woo. You go us-girl!".

So I've been doing that and tonight... I KICKED MY DISTANCE'S ASS. For seriously. And um, I've been a little slack over the holidays (OK REALLY slack) which leads me to believe that the problem before wasn't my fitness level or my breathing so much as it was my brain. And now I can officially tell my brain to SUCK IT.

How does this relate to nail polish? Well for me pretty toes help me get my head ready for the swim. I feel more comfortable and confident with red toe-claws. So I do that. Also with the shaving my legs. In fact I prepare for the gym kind of the way I prepare for a date with my sweetie. Only with less high heels and smooching. heh.

When I'm doing the actual swim, spin (bike) or run. I don't let myself give me a hard time. I bust out my internal soccermom (only not the scary kind) and she stands on the sidelines yelling encouragement (she's SO embarrassing!).
Seriously though, my deal is that if I wouldn't say it to my kid, I can't say it to me. And so far it's working out pretty well.

So, you guys? How do you get yourself psyched up to train/work out? Do you give yourself a hard time or are you "yay for me!"? Any pre-game rituals I should know about? 

(Oh and the oil stuff is for my face after the chlorine roshambo. It's the bomb.)

So, yah, I'm doing a triathlon...

So here's where I'm going to talk a bit about this triathlon thing I'm doing. If you're feeling all "WHATEVER lady, I came here for the crafts" then you should hop over to One Pretty Thing about nowish, I guarantee Rachel has something awesome to look at.

Otherwise, I'm going t'be talking about me me me here for a minute...

So yah. A triathlon. It's just a tiny one, teeny distances, super rookie-friendly. It's called a Try-A-Tri. They prolly have cupcakes and hugs for everybody. But you guys. I have/had the gut wrenching terror about it.

See, way back in '09 the very second post I ever wrote was this one. It's about the first aquafit class I ever took. Now, Aquafit (then later Deep Water Running) was the only exercise I ever stuck with for more than 3 months. On account of how it's FUN. Swishy, mermaidy, fun. It genuinely changed my life.

Then in June of last year I realised that swishy-mermaid-fun wasn't cutting it anymore. So I took a spin class, and I did Julia Jones 5K training plan. I wrote about that here.

Those first sessions were barf-inducingly hard, but I kept at it and they got easier. And eventually they even got to be FUN. Running with my fuzzy dog girl on warm summer evenings - genuinely nice. WHO KNEW?!

I had planned on doing a 5k race in September. But by early July I hit a big-deal-for-me milestone, 3k (there was a sunset, it was pretty, I didn't puke; you can read about that here). And by August a 5K run was just what I did on a Friday. I guess I still could have done a race, but racing was never really the point for me.

So, cut to October, I'd settled into my running/spin/pilates routine, I guess I must have seen something on the internetses and the idea of a triathlon passed through my mind super briefly, like REALLY super briefly. But here's what happened, as written to my good chum Ian

me: So I was idly wondering about triathlon, and talking to Elliot about it 'cause M (his ex) used to do triathlon.And he and Andy both rolled their eyes in a YUH HUH way(*they DID. Polite incredulity totally yanks my chain).
Ian: you could do a triathalon. The secret to these things is that once you reach a basic level of fitness, it's all psychological
me: I didn't really want to before but now I'm like, "WHAT? Yes I could. Sure, I'd be the world fattest, slowest, triathlete; but I could finish a sprint race"
I might have to learn something a bit more effctive than old lady swim, but essentially the distances are just a spin class and a friday run. So I'm pondering.
Ian: Your basic front crawl isn't that hard. You can totally do a triathalon. And it'd be worth it just for the "I told you lazy fatasses* I could do a triathalon" effect.
me: I KNOW right?

So, I did a little more research and hit upon the Guelph Lake Try-a-Tri. And I'm in (or I will be once registration opens for reals).

And I managed to coerce another chum into this same gig. She's training for a half marathon anyway (crazy!).

So that's that. I think maybe I'm going to do a few more posts on this, but I won't be offended if you skip them. And here's a picture of my Non-Human training partner, so this post doesn't look all nekkid.

What's funny is that this girl could kick a triathlons' ass. She run's 16-19K with Ian. She swims like a fuzzy fish. And she's super happy doing it. The bike is the only problem, though I betchu she could manage on a Big Wheel. Hmmmmm.....

* for the record, neither of those boys are actually fatasses. They are skinnny men who can eat whatever they like. Which is WORSE!