New Year, New...

You guys. It's that time of year again. You can't spit around these here internets without hitting some company or another hawking the "New Year, New You" shtick.
This morning it was Forever 21. Now, I love me some F21, but it seems to me that the average age of the girls lurking en masse in the store is maybe 19 years old? Or like Fetus. Can We use minus numbers?
Which makes me all
 "DUDE. you're not old enough to HAVE an old you. Now get your dewy skin and perky boobs outta my way. I got cheap jewelry to peruse"
Now before I come off as a completely bitter crazy person (too late? oh oh.) I should say that my main problem with New Year, New You is that I like the old me.
I do.
Quite a lot actually. And it took me AGES to get to like the old me, having to get to like an all NEW me, well I don't think I have the energy.
Which is not to say that I don't get the sudden need to take 5 spin classes in a row and swim until I'm a prune. My festive All Pie and Cookie Diet and 3 weeks of gym dodging has caused me to jiggle more than I like to.
But that doesn't mean i want an all new me, it just means I should prolly think about what I put in my mouth and maybe do a bit more running around for a few weeks.
And I know that it sometimes isn't that easy. I REALLY know, I am a person who has been "overweight" and has had a complex relationship with food for my whole life.
But I'mma say RIGHT NOW. These aren't the things that define me. So changing them doesn't make me a whole new person. And that is all. Rant over.
I'm not going to get into the whole body image thing (at least not this morning) I need more coffee and I get so angry I spit a little. It's gross.
Now. New Year, New Shoe... there's a concept I can get behind.